The Church at Koloa, Hawaii, USA

Mystery Worshipper: Brandi Anderson
Church: The Church at Koloa, Hawaii
Location: USA
Date of visit: Thursday, 1 January 2026, 9:00am

What was the name of the service?

Sunday Worship / Church Service

How full was the building?

Mostly full.

Did anyone welcome you personally?

Yes. A native Hawaiian woman with a kind smile and a slight handshake asked me where I was visiting from.

Was your pew comfortable?

It was a solid wood pew with a blue seat cushion – not recliner-style comfortable, but doable for 1.5 hours.

How would you describe the pre-service atmosphere?

Somewhat quiet with live music. I sat with 10 minutes to spare waiting for something to start, when the native Hawaiian woman with the kind smile welcomed me with a twinkle in her eye. She kept on greeting people she knew and some she did not, with a Jesus kind of love that made me believe there are still people like her in the world, where you just sense Jesus in them.

What were the exact opening words of the service?

‘Thank you for coming to a Bible-believing church. We promote the most important person in the world.’

What books did the congregation use during the service?

Just the Bible.

What musical instruments were played?

Guitar, loud drums that were a bit too much, keyboard, bass, and a flute. A woman who reminded me of Patsy Cline, the country singer, sang ‘Keep Walking’ during the offering time, and the female pastor played the keyboard.

Did anything distract you?

As the pastor got into the sermon, fans swirling, dogs at attention, heat settling, cars passing, others noises stemming from wide open windows and open doors, and feet still recovering from 39 solid minutes of standing in Chaco sandals, a woman in the back holding a small dog began to yell in response to the pastor’s description of what was happening with ICE agents in the US. ‘We are all immigrants here. None of us are native!’ The pastor was clearly baffled and began responding into the microphone above her voice, until he led to a shouting match between the pastor and this passionate visitor to the church. On and on it went – yelling, heads turning, heat rising more than the temperature – as I glanced around at all of the native Hawaiians in the room. Finally, the pastor recognized she was not going to quit, and he wasn’t going to win, so he asked some men in the congregation to escort her out. There was distant shouting, ‘Get your hands off me...’ and the pastor went on, as if no one could hear any of it. He continued talking about loving Jesus and being a Christ follower, and about heaven and hell.

Was the worship stiff-upper-lip, happy clappy, or what?

The style felt mostly Hawaiian, with native Hawaiian congregants, native Hawaiian language in some instances, a slight breeze, and some vacationers. The woman in front of me was barefoot and ready for a walk on the sand; other native Hawaiians were dressed in their traditional clothing, complete with shell necklaces, handmade dresses, beautiful flowers in their hair, and leis around their necks.

Exactly how long was the sermon?

34 hot and somewhat dicey minutes.

On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?

7 — The pastor wore a native Hawaiian shirt and appeared to be in his 60s, with a kind smile and dark-rimmed glasses. His hair was thinning and appeared to be dyed black. A few comments made me cringe. When talking about women wanting to delay the inevitable of aging and death, he said, ‘We look in mirrors and don’t like what we see, so we put on loads of makeup and hair dye and get plastic surgery. We should all come to church next Sunday, line up the women who have not combed their hair or with no makeup, and see what happens. Men won’t brush their teeth.’ I think he took it too far.

In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?

The sermon was based on Philippians 1:21: ‘For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ The main point of the sermon was that we are all going to die, and for those born again, they will die only once and experience a spiritual rebirth.

Which part of the service was like being in heaven?

Being welcomed by so many followers of Jesus and feeling like I belonged to them and this place. Before the sermon started, they honored the youth pastor for her 10 years of service and her 44th birthday. They adorned her with leis, good words, and communal prayer. I could feel the Holy Spirit fill the room.

And which part was like being in... er... the other place?

The dreaded meet and greet after the worship: this has to be the most awkward thing in the world. The only ones having a good time are those who have some friends in the congregation. It was a dreaded 2-3 minutes, but might as well have been 30, as I stared straight ahead, into the arched stained-glass window etched with words my eyes could not make out.

What happened when you hung around after the service looking lost?

Up from the pew, finally, and walking out a long line, like a wedding, one could not leave the narrow exit without shaking hands with both pastors and saying some nice things. It took a while, and all I could think about is… where’s the passionate lady and her dog they removed from the service?

How would you describe the after-service coffee?

There was not any that I could find. Cold water would have been nice, but maybe this is located in another building or after Sunday School.

How would you feel about making another visit (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?

8 —

Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?

Mostly yes, although the removal of the passionate woman yelling about ICE and all of us being immigrants to this land made me cringe a bit.

What one thing will you remember about all this in seven days' time ?

I will remember the kindness of the woman who made sure to greet me twice and take care of me like a shepherd watches his sheep. And, the woman shouting about ICE.